" Not all who wander are lost."

10.20.2010

30 Days to get started + Day 1

To get started I am going to take on a challenge. I fully intend to do each of these items as honestly as I can. I will change names to keep innocent (or not so innocent) parties anonymous. I am going to try to be a pure and honest in my answers as I can. Want to join me in these 30 days?


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself!




So Day 1: Something I hate about myself

Do I have to pick just one thing? I am very good at beating myself up over any character flaw or imperfection. VERY GOOD to the point that I just don't know how to let things go and move on. I hate my body, my weight, my hair, my teeth, my stubbornness, my emotional outbursts, lack of patience, mood swings, lack of self confidence, the fact that I snore... this could be a long list, but most of all I HATE that I can not just let these things go. I could enjoy friendships, family, marriage, and myself SO much more if I could master one phrase "Let it GO!"

Ever had a disagreement with me? Chances are I have played it over and over in my head until every possible outcome has been analyzed. Should I pray about it, apologize or discuss and let it go? ABSOLUTELY! Do I possess the ability to do this, Hell No. What may seem so minor to you becomes a week of worry to me.

Ever been flipped off by a stranger who dislikes your driving choices? Most people laugh and let it go. Not me, I worry about what I could have done differently.

Pants a bit too tight today? Put on different ones and move on, right? Not me... I wonder what the last thing I ate was and then beat myself up over doing so.

So the biggest thing I hate about me? My inability to Let anything go.

How do I work on this? I have no clue. I pray about it first. I try deep breaths, a glass of wine, playing guitar, watching TV, working out... anything to distract my mind from the horrid loop of over analyzing...

That's it for today, my entrance into the world of blogging and a very honest truth outed.

Abby

3 comments:

Falantedios said...

Fantastic start! Keep it up, Abby - I will definitely stay tuned in. If I seem to miss a couple, it is because I have a retreat this weekend.

I think you're really close to finding an answer to your question... how do you change what you say to yourself?

Is it you saying it to yourself? (Rev 12:10)

I don't know if I have any answers... but I'm going to share a bit of how I've wrestled with this over at Fumbling before I leave for the weekend.

in HIS love,
nick

Becky said...

I snore too Abby....so I hear anyway. Let go of the things we can't control, right?

Jenn said...

I LOVE lists! This idea is great. I may steal a few ideas for my own blog.

And on that note. YAY for blogging! I dont know about you, but I think its great outlet for thoughts and emotions, and some good "me" time... even if people dont read them.

Consider me a follower!