" Not all who wander are lost."

10.30.2010

Day 10

So I took a break yesterday. I just didn't feel like sharing this. I played with Hannah, made homemade tomato basil soup and pizza, and played the guitar. It was a very laid back, low tech kinda day for me. Sometimes I feel like I sit in front of some kind of flashy screen 24/7. I needed a break!


Day 10 is Someone you need to let go or wish you'd never met....

I will not use names in this, and really have already let this person go. He falls in the "I wish I'd never met" category.


A couple of years ago I got very involved in the life of a new in town employee, his new baby, and his cancer ridden wife. I have a bleeding heart, and will help anyone who needs it (this I love about my character). This family was new to Nashville, she had a c-section to deliver the baby and the surgeon discovered her body was consumed with cancer. Never did her "husband" ask for help in the beginning. I knew she was 30, new mom, 10 states away from home, and scared. I felt that she and I had a lot in common and wanted to do all I could to make Nashville a home for her. Immediately, I sprung into action. Within a week we had a stroller, video camera, baby clothes, and car seat for them. I had been to the hospital to visit my new friend, and held their sweet baby. She and I were having coffee about once a week. I knew she was dying and could not imagine how she felt knowing she was leaving behind a new baby. She had no girlfriends here and no family. I wanted to be there for her, and I was. This I will never regret. I was there when she was given her wig and felt like a real woman for a bit again, there for a few great nights out, watched her shoot a barrett 50 and grin ear to ear, and visited her in hospice to pray over her the day before she died. I loved her, her sweet baby, and learned so much from her great strength during her 6 month battle. It's the rest of the story that makes me wish I had never met her "husband".

He was a liar from the start. He told me they were married, until I went to the bank to set up a contribution account for them. He then had to confess they were in fact not husband and wife. He had crazy outbursts at work, which I thought were due to the great stress he was under, until I found out actually he was yelling at my sweet friend at home, and not helping with the baby. He was taking her pain meds. He was coming to work strung out!!! He repaid my kindness by lying to me and jeopardizing our family business.

I still had sympathy for him. She was dying, he had a new baby to raise, they had no home. My dad and I found them a cheap apartment near our office, cosigned for them, and negotiated a month to month lease rather than a long contract. I set out collecting supplies from anyone who would donate to help them start a home and make her comfortable. I had my friends sending her funny cards, and praying over her, over both of them. I was invested in their story and that sweet baby's future.

On July 12th, I got an email from him. She had passed away. He EMAILED me!!! Couldn't even call to tell me my friend had died. Then, he didn't show up to work for a week. He never had a funeral for her. I didn't ever get to say goodbye. He borrowed some money from the shop while he was out of work, never even offered to pay it back. He showed up at work a week later, strung out on drugs and physically threatening anyone around. I though my dad was going to have to kill him to get him out of the building. I knew he was going through a lot, and so wanted to believe he was a good, but confused, person.

Then the last straw.... He gave the baby up for adoption and sold off all the baby stuff I and so many of my friends had given them. He had promised her to raise their child, but just gave her away. I KNOW this was the best thing for the little girl. I pray she found a loving family. I am saddened to know she will never know what her brave mother went through to give her life. I have pictures of her, and will always include her in my prayers.

As far as "him".... I wish I had never met him. He made my life hell and taught me to be guarded. He made a fool of me for trying so hard to help someone in need. He burned me. Every time I think of helping someone, I remember his story. Not all people on this planet are "good", and now I remember that daily thanks to him. He has never tried to contact me, never said thank you, never nothing.... I found out long after that he was very abusive to her. It just breaks my heart, so much so that I can honestly say I wish I'd never met him! This story still haunts me.

2 comments:

Emily said...

Oh Abby! What a story. I really, really wish it weren't true. It almost sounds like a fiction book, doesn't it?!

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It really makes you think twice about helping someone - which is a terrible thing.

Hopefully he's changed since then. And I pray for the happiness and health of the baby!

Jenn said...

Wow. I didnt know about this story. How incredibly sad. I have alot of mixed feelings on how to feel about the situation. He is definitely a damaged person and in a sense we should pray for haunted souls like that. But its hard to when its someone who sounds so... evil? I'm praying for that sweet baby tonight, that he/she is where they need to be in life and leading the kind of life their mother would have wanted. I'll pray, too, for the sweet soul of that mother.
Wow... what a story.